You Don't Know You Don't Know; Respect the Gray

There was a commercial for a cable company that used a young couple with a baby to say, “You know when people tell you that having a baby will change your life and you say, ‘I know’? You don’t know.” And, being a father, I can attest to that for sure. There are hundreds of assumptions, misunderstandings, beliefs and preferences that are shattered when you actually have the baby. It really doesn’t matter what set of skills you bring to the game, you still need some help and advice.

It has been my experience that I am completely unaware of the things I don’t know. I think that is a reasonable assumption. How can one know something before it is known? The Beatles had it right conversely speaking in All You Need is Love, “There's nothing you can know that isn't known.” So, what do we do about our oblivion? How does one gain knowledge about things of which he has no understanding? This may be an over simplification but it can’t be stated any more clearly; just ask. That is the short answer.

For most of us in the music and creative community being a self starter is something for which we may be proud. But there is also honor in seeking out someone who has walked a mile in our shoes before they were “our shoes.” It seems a redundant waste of time to reinvent the wheel when all we need do is simply inquire of the wheel maker. There is an incredible advantage to learning something in a conversation with someone more experienced and wise. This could save us a couple of year’s worth of head-banging during the learning process.

It is my humble philosophical opinion that I may grow and be a stronger, better human being because of the experiences of others. Isaac Newton said, “If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.” We are in good company when we inquire about styles, gear, methods, history and a thousand other important topics. I say “respect the gray” and befriend someone who is years ahead of you in your career. There may be a gold nugget in the conversation you are about to have over a cup of coffee. The way I see it is that everyone has the potential to teach me something new and fresh. This is true in spite of the fact that I am creative, a musician, a self-starter, and strong headed.

I discovered maybe a little late but not too late, that I don’t know what I don’t know. I didn’t know that early on but I know now. So I make it a point to get exposure as often as possible, to those who have the wisdom and experience that I may not. They inspire me and prove that what I aspire to accomplish can be and indeed, has been done in some measure before. Their knowledge spares me the time-consuming encumbrance of mindlessly plowing a field that someone else has already plowed, to use an agrarian metaphor.

While we all want to take responsibility for the successes we build in our creative careers we must still do obeisance to those who have gone before. They have made what we are doing much easier. They may have learned how to do something before there was someone to ask but we now have them to ask. Thank God for a little wisdom in our lives.


There are a few very simple steps to knowing something you don’t know.

1. Realize that there is a wealth of knowledge in other people
2. Don’t make presumptions about people based on age or other imposed limiters. Some of the greatest lessons are learned from an eight year old and an eighty year old
3. Listen to what may seem to be “unrelated” stories for new insight
4. Open up your friendships to people outside of your area of expertise for a healthy cross-pollination of information
5. Be deliberate and purposeful in your quest to learn from others
6. Find innovative ways to inculcate your creative craft with the new wisdom you have acquired
7. Don’t forget about reading… all leaders are readers. Some of the most brilliant and wise have already left the earth
8. Find a mentor
9. Check back with your dad or a mentor at least once a quarter
10. Ask and keep on asking

©WalkWay Group, all rights reserved. Steven Blanton